An Inner Fire Yet To Be Awakened

For anyone in PS21 who may read this...

2005-11-21T05:26:00.000-05:00

"An empire whose economy is barely above the level of subsistence cannot bankrupt itself forever." (Fukuyama, 4)

Joke of the day:

2005-11-18T09:37:00.000-05:00

The Four Ghosts of the White House

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...

The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."

2005-11-18T07:41:00.000-05:00

It's early in the morning, and I am awake -- that is to say, not sleeping.

Guess how much sleep I got last night? :P

2005-11-16T05:01:00.000-05:00

I am so invested in other people, and not as much in myself as is expected in our society. I don't understand it. I like myself the way I am, but how did I end up so radically different from "normal"? I am a product of American culture just as much as the next man. It's truly mysterious to me.

P.S. I need to start sleeping. Despite how much I might wish I was inhuman, I do, in fact, require rest so that my muscles stop being used and can regenerate ATP. And also, so I can dream and not go insane. Because I hear insanity is unfortunate, and a damper on running for elected office (though stupidity may not be one. ;))

Goodnight world.

On why we must act:

2005-11-14T16:25:00.000-05:00

November 14, 2005
Op-Ed Contributors
Doing Unto Others as They Did Unto Us
By M. GREGG BLOCHE and JONATHAN H. MARKS

Washington — How did American interrogation tactics after 9/11 come to include abuse rising to the level of torture? Much has been said about the illegality of these tactics, but the strategic error that led to their adoption has been overlooked.

The Pentagon effectively signed off on a strategy that mimics Red Army methods. But those tactics were not only inhumane, they were ineffective. For Communist interrogators, truth was beside the point: their aim was to force compliance to the point of false confession.

Fearful of future terrorist attacks and frustrated by the slow progress of intelligence-gathering from prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Pentagon officials turned to the closest thing on their organizational charts to a school for torture. That was a classified program at Fort Bragg, N.C., known as SERE, for Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape. Based on studies of North Korean and Vietnamese efforts to break American prisoners, SERE was intended to train American soldiers to resist the abuse they might face in enemy custody.

The Pentagon appears to have flipped SERE's teachings on their head, mining the program not for resistance techniques but for interrogation methods. At a June 2004 briefing, the chief of the United States Southern Command, Gen. James T. Hill, said a team from Guantánamo went "up to our SERE school and developed a list of techniques" for "high-profile, high-value" detainees. General Hill had sent this list - which included prolonged isolation and sleep deprivation, stress positions, physical assault and the exploitation of detainees' phobias - to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, who approved most of the tactics in December 2002.

Some within the Pentagon warned that these tactics constituted torture, but a top adviser to Secretary Rumsfeld justified them by pointing to their use in SERE training, a senior Pentagon official told us last month.

When internal F.B.I. e-mail messages critical of these methods were made public earlier this year, references to SERE were redacted. But we've obtained a less-redacted version of an e-mail exchange among F.B.I. officials, who refer to the methods as "SERE techniques." We also learned from a Pentagon official that the SERE program's chief psychologist, Col. Morgan Banks, issued guidance in early 2003 for the "behavioral science consultants" who helped to devise Guantánamo's interrogation strategy (we've been unable to learn the content of that guidance).

SERE methods are classified, but the program's principles are known. It sought to recreate the brutal conditions American prisoners of war experienced in Korea and Vietnam, where Communist interrogators forced false confessions from some detainees, and broke the spirits of many more, through Pavlovian and other conditioning. Prolonged isolation, sleep deprivation, painful body positions and punitive control over life's most intimate functions produced overwhelming stress in these prisoners. Stress led in turn to despair, uncontrollable anxiety and a collapse of self-esteem. Sometimes hallucinations and delusions ensued. Prisoners who had been through this treatment became pliable and craved companionship, easing the way for captors to obtain the "confessions" they sought.

SERE, as originally envisioned, inoculates American soldiers against these techniques. Its psychologists create mock prison regimens to study the effects of various tactics and identify the coping styles most likely to withstand them. At Guantánamo, SERE-trained mental health professionals applied this knowledge to detainees, working with guards and medical personnel to uncover resistant prisoners' vulnerabilities. "We know if you've been despondent; we know if you've been homesick," General Hill said. "That is given to interrogators and that helps the interrogators" make their plans.

Within the SERE program, abuse is carefully controlled, with the goal of teaching trainees to cope. But under combat conditions, brutal tactics can't be dispassionately "dosed." Fear, fury and loyalty to fellow soldiers facing mortal danger make limits almost impossible to sustain.

By bringing SERE tactics and the Guantánamo model onto the battlefield, the Pentagon opened a Pandora's box of potential abuse. On Nov. 26, 2003, for example, an Iraqi major general, Abed Hamed Mowhoush, was forced into a sleeping bag, then asphyxiated by his American interrogators. We've obtained a memorandum from one of these interrogators - a former SERE trainer - who cites command authorization of "stress positions" as justification for using what he called "the sleeping bag technique."

"A cord," he explained, "was used to limit movement within the bag and help bring on claustrophobic conditions." In SERE, he said, this was called close confinement and could be "very effective." Those who squirmed or screamed in the sleeping bag, he said, were "allowed out as soon as they start to provide information."

Three soldiers have been ordered to stand trial on murder charges in General Mowhoush's death. Yet the Pentagon cannot point to any intelligence gains resulting from the techniques that have so tarnished America's image. That's because the techniques designed by communist interrogators were created to control a prisoner's will rather than to extract useful intelligence.

A full account of how our leaders reacted to terrorism by re-engineering Red Army methods must await an independent inquiry. But the SERE model's embrace by the Pentagon's civilian leaders is further evidence that abuse tantamount to torture was national policy, not merely the product of rogue freelancers. After the shock of 9/11 - when Americans desperately wanted mastery over a world that suddenly seemed terrifying - this policy had visceral appeal. But it's the task of command authority to connect means and ends rationally. The Bush administration has too frequently failed to do this. And so it is urgent that Congress step in to tie our detainee policy to our national interest.

M. Gregg Bloche is a law professor at Georgetown University and a visiting fellow at the Brookings Institution. Jonathan H. Marks, a barrister in London, is a bioethics fellow at Georgetown and Johns Hopkins.

2005-11-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

Today, all four of our group members met to further discuss cutting our script, to read through, and to establish basic blocking. We were successful in the first two objectives, but not so much in the third. John doesn't really know what blocking is, and when Anne and I explained it to him, he still seemed to think it was much simpler than it actually is. Rather than actually going through the play and staging our blocking as we should have, we merely went through and said "Ok, so he enters here,
and then she enters..." etc, etc -- which is unfortunate, as I know the blocking will take rehearsal for our group to memorize. Ah well. So then, at the end of rehearsal, I volunteered to go through our script and write out descriptive, detailed blocking
and then email it to everyone, which I have yet to do but fully intend to.

Rehearsal went pretty well, though. The scene is hilarious, and I think we can all pull it off well. While we've had to adapt it slightly in order for it to be performable by four people rather than five, the adaptation works well and is not noticably strained or nonsensical. I am saddened, though, by some of the cuts the rest of the group wanted to make -- specifically, the huge cuts to George's monologue. While I am obviously pleased at the prospect of having fewer lines to memorize for the purposes of our class, I feel like the part of the play which deals with George's relationship with God and religion is where the play draws meaning which is pertinent to real life. The rest of the group came to the conclusion that that section of the scene is "not funny", and ergo expendable -- and while I agree that it's not amusing, acting is not about entertainment. It's a medium through which all of the artists involved can illuminate aspects of human nature which are otherwise unobservable unless one is participating in them. So I'm sad that that is lost on us, but oh well.

I have to get working on the blocking. I'll write more later.

2005-11-04T04:23:00.000-05:00

So it's 4:23 am, and I'm currently writing up a prospectus which is due tomorrow for a paper which is due after Thanksgiving. I'm actually looking forward to writing the paper; the topic is turning out to be pretty interesting (reform of the presidential primary system). However, writing this prospectus is absolutely the last thing I want to be doing right now. I'm sick, and tomorrow is Friday and the end of the week, and I'm not going to French -- in fact, I'm dropping French -- and I really just want to sleep and keep on sleeping until I wake up to go into Boston and pick up Selina. Oh well. The party tomorrow night is going to be awesome; I haven't been to a nice dinner (for my friend's 21st birthday) in a long time, and I'm going to enjoy it fully.

I should also really work out tomorrow. I probably won't get time, though... Oh well.

My group of four chose our scene today, for acting -- we're going to do a cut version of Actor's Nightmare! I'm psyched, I'm playing George, the main character; basically, the summary is that George is an accountant who's having a nightmare about being an actor. The play starts with George on stage going "What? What am I doing here?", at which point the stage manager enters and asks to have his pants to wash them. The rest of the play goes on with George pantsless, and it only gets crazier from there. Notable lines include "Women should be struck regularly, like gongs." and "Say, whose yacht do you think that is?". It's going to be a ton of fun. I remember when Reid played that part back at MVHS, I was quite jealous, as it looked like a lot of fun.

I need to get back to writing what I'm actually supposed to be writing. I'm sure there'll be more here later.

This thing called love, I just can't handle it...

2005-11-01T10:48:00.000-05:00

I'm so exhausted right now. I have to turn in a collection of journal entries for acting in three hours, and they're not ready yet -- which is unfortunate. I'm copying and pasting blog entries together to make something resembling a journal, but there's more I have to fill in still.

When you're tired, the whole world seems more oppressive.

2005-10-25T16:07:00.000-05:00

The singing, the performing -- these are just things I do on my way. I live to help people.

2005-10-24T15:43:00.000-05:00

I've just been "reserved" for dinner. What an odd feeling.

I dreamed about driving up the West Coast last night. It was a wonderful dream, and the ocean was so beautiful driving up highway 1. None of the places were real, though, which was kind of bizarre as I actually have driven the California coastline before. When we got to San Francisco, I was so psyched, even though it looked nothing like the real city does. It was, however, the same San Francisco I visited sometime in the last few weeks in another one of my dreams!

...crazy, huh? So I kinda miss California right now, but I'll get to see it again someday. :)

Time for some acting-inspired meditation now. Later!

Wake me up!

2005-10-23T06:05:00.000-05:00

Here is my decision:

Attempting to navigate through your freshman year of college is like trying to run a 200 meter hurdles during both an earthquake and a hurricane.

There's no way you're going to do it well, and you just have to close your eyes and keep on pushing until you pull through.

Thunder and Lightning!

2005-10-23T02:43:00.000-05:00

I feel like such a little kid again -- it's 3:45 am, and lightning is flashing, and I've turned off all of the lights so that I can revel in it.

I feel really good right now. Getting that load off my chest was so fantastic, and I don't even feel a need to worry about how the fallout will go, because what will be shall be. Simple as that.

Happy Birthday again, Peter! Whooooo!!

2005-10-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

I just feel like I'm currently not able to do things right. I don't know why. It's sort of unshakable, and it's thoroughly unfortunate.

2005-10-21T07:11:00.000-05:00

I saved a girl from being raped tonight.

Zach and I were walking back to his dorm, and when we get there we came across a bunch of people in the hallway. Two of them were from Bates, and they were following around this sketchy guy. All five of the hallway-loafers were moderately drunk, and when the two Bates girls went around the corner to talk about whether or not they should leave (one of the girls clearly wanted to go, while the other clearly wanted to hook up with sketchy-man), the sketchy guy declared, "I want her to stay with me. I'm not gonna lie, I really just wanna stick it in something, you know?" He then walked around the corner and interrupted the argument to tell the girls that they should stay -- which made the one that wanted to hook up with him even more insistent upon staying.

It was the part about "sticking it in something" that really got me involved. Until then, I was like "crazy kids..." but at that point, I was like "o.O RAPIST!". Or something like that.

Anyway, so Zach and I tried to convince them for awhile, and after ten minutes, I just walked up to the hookup girl and was like "come on, we're leaving." She didn't really have the willpower or presence of mind to resist, beyond saying "I need my coat" that her friend was wearing. Me and Zach walked them all the way down to 245 Boston Ave, which is a bit of a stroll; especially considering i didn't have a jacket; and we were relieved when we were finally no longer responsible for them and they were safely home.

We then walked back to hill, and jibbed till 4:30 or so. And now I'm going to sleep.

2005-10-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

I am free to do whatever I want, yet there I many things I choose not to do. I have a paradox of a free spirit and a disciplined mind. But I think I go beyond disciplined, to irrationally fanatical.

Things to think about. Things to work on.

2005-10-18T11:58:00.000-05:00

I'm getting a little sick, but that's ok. I'm feeling good right now, which is nice. Sort of a rarity. I had a thoroughly enjoyable night last night, and the air in my lungs on the way back felt so good in that it-burns-it's-cold sort of way.

I really have nothing to say. I'm off to acting nowish.

2005-10-14T02:22:00.000-05:00

I think I'm just having a crisis of self-confidence right now. I need to get through this, because I'm not usually like this at all -- honestly, a lot of times, I'm a lot more arrogant than I let on, but right now, I don't believe in myself at all.

That's not to say I'm proud of being arrogant, or that I especially like myself for it - but I think part of it is deserved, and the other part is a necessary evil for me to be able to live my life to its fullest.

I don't know what I'm talking about. The point is, I'm second-guessing my every word in my French composition, and there's really no need for that as they've all been right so far. It's reflective of the rest of my life, too, where I really don't have the strength of conviction to come out on top right now.

Godspeed to the return of my mind.

:D

2005-10-13T02:28:00.000-05:00

Scott's here!

I disengage.

2005-10-10T11:15:00.001-05:00

I disengage not out of anger, but out of self-preservation. I won't react to that which I cannot see, even if it was laid out specifically to bait me to an untempered reaction.

That is all.

Alright...

2005-10-07T08:16:00.000-05:00

So it's not the BEST paper I've ever written. But I do kind of like the argument, even if I couldn't back it up as well as I'd like to. I would have needed to spend more time doing research, though, and that really was time I didn't have. So here you have it:

(Note: This was my rough draft - the final had some significant improvements, but isn't actually on my computer since I don't have a printer.)

Question: Do you think it is important for Congress to "look like America"? In other words, does the racial, gender, class, etc. make up of Congress
matter? Why or why not? If it does, should we consider changing elections in ways that ensure a more diverse legislature? What might
some of those changes be (and what obstacles might get in the way of implementing such changes)?

____

I think it is absolutely essential that no laws be passed requiring "visual representation" of minorities in congress. Firstly, and
most importantly, creating separate laws governing the election of minorities to Congress creates a legal sanction of "separate"
treatment of non-white people. In this day and age, such a law would be a tremendous step backwards in the battle to create
interracial unity in America; it would instead only serve to give different races more ways to differentiate themselves from each
other. Secondly, the concept of quotas and minority-majority districts relies upon the illogical assumption that all or most
people of any given racial group think similarly. While there may be similarities in opinions on some subjects by members of
the same group, they will not all always agree all the time, or even necessarily any more than they would with anyone not of
their race. Thirdly, installing a system of mandating visual representation of minorities in congress implies that representatives
who are not of a minority cannot represent a district where that minority is in majority as well as a member of the minority race
could. All of this goes to show that legislation requiring visual minority representation in congress would be not just unnecessary
but detrimental to our government.

"Segregation of white and colored children in public schools has a detrimental effect upon the colored children. The impact is greater
when it has the sanction of the law, for the policy of separating the races is usually interpreted as denoting the inferiority of the negro group."
Thus wrote Chief Justice Breyer in Brown v. Board of Education, and it applies directly to the issue of mandated minority
representation in congress. In creating legislation ordering just that, the U.S. legislature would be condoning the psychological
separation of the minorities included in that act from the rest of the population at large. In the context of American history
and society, this separation would inevitably indicate that the minorities involved were viewed as inferior by the majority who had
passed the law in the first place. As Breyer also noted, "To separate them from others of similar age and qualifications solely
because of their race generates a feeling of inferiority as to their status in the community." I believe that this same social stigma
would apply in full force if such conditions were created in either house of congress, and thus, instead of advancing racial representation
in America, could further minimalize the significance of the minority members already in office.

Furthermore, adding quotas to either gender or race minorities would be a step backward in democratic evolution, not forward. Looking
today at Afghanistan, a fledgling democracy, it is easy to understand why their constitution requires a certain number of seats to be
women; given their country's history of discriminating against women having control over their own lives, let alone the lives of others,
Afghanistan's quota system seems a logical way to prevent against their legislature from being so overwhelmingly male that women
have no voice at all. However, this problem does not exist in America; as a nation, we have decided that women should have treatment
equal to that of men in all matters. While this goal is certianly not yet a reality we are slowly but surely making
progress towards it, as can be seen through the 1992 election results and the resulting changes in the social atmosphere of the house of
representatives. (Lanahan) Continuing to define "blacks" or "latinos" or "women" as their own unique group for
purposes of representation in the legislative bodies only further entrenches in the public eye that there are fundamentally irreconcilable
difference between the different "groups" of people -- which is exactly the mindset our society should be trying to eliminate.
A quota system here would thus have little positive effect on substantive representation, and simply create yet another
identifiable distinction between gender, racial, and class minorities and the majorities that people would use to minimalize
minority viewpoints, rather than help people who would otherwise have no voice be heard.

Another issue with legislation which guarantees minority representatives is that it assumes that all members of any given minority group
feel the same way on the issues presented in the house. This assumption, however, fails to hold up under a number of significant
instances, and certainly should not be taken as truth to form a basis for legislation. For instance, the vote on NAFTA split the Congressional
Hispanic Congress almost exactly in half, and other issues such as abortion and tax structure which are extremely polarized by party
are equally capable of doing just that. On issues such as these, the CHC has very little impact precisely because they don't
come to a consensus -- unless the vote is so close that one or two representatives will make the difference in the outcome, CHC is
relatively impotent on such divisive issues. (Vigil, Lanahan 179-182) This perception also again plays into the further entrenchment of racial stereotypes; if "all"
members of any given group are thought to care about a certain issue, that is essentially a stereotype in and of itself.

Finally, there is yet another latent incarnation of racism inherent in policies attempting to create more minority representatives in
congress; doing so implies that male caucasian representatives will do a poorer job of expressing the will of their constituents than
a minority would do. If we agree that racism in America is a bad thing, then the acceptance of this implication by society at large
is harmful to the long-term state of our democracy.

As long as we continue to define political debate in America in terms of conflict between races, genders, and classes instead of
conflict of ideas and philosophies, these factors and our long history of discrimination against minorities will be a part of our governing
system. However, as we start to transcend these superficial distinctions, our government will be able to grow past this status of "simulated equality"
and hopefully reach a point where race, class, and gender neither attract nor deter people from your plans and ideas at all.

God DOES send us messages!

2005-10-07T07:12:00.000-05:00

Thought someone might get a kick out of this. *grin*

2005-10-07T04:53:00.000-05:00

Not gonna lie, I'm a little depressed right now. I've also been awake for eighteen hours (and the wrong eightteen hours at that), and it's looking like friday's gonna be a looooong day. My American Politics paper is fairly solid, though, so that's good, and I'm ready for french in three hours, so that's good too. I could go for a run right now, but I probably shouldn't exxpend any more energy than is absolutely necessary right now.

What keeps me up is the thought of waffles in an hour... and all the waffles I can eat, too. Mmmm waffles. :P

I hate when people bend to the pressure of their friends because it's easier to do, not because it's what they want to do. I hate even more when I do that. I need to grow up some more right now.

And on the bright side, if I don't sleep, I can't have nightmares. Wheeee!

When did segregation end?

2005-10-06T22:03:00.000-05:00

1954. Let's not forget that.

We all have a debt to pay. Let's get started on it.

2005-10-06T11:58:00.000-05:00

I had horrendous dreams last night. The people in my dream don't even exist in real life, and I still feel a need to apologize.

Subconscious, leave me alone. =/

The last Marine

2005-10-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051001/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq_the_last_marine

Read this. It's important.

Contention.

2005-09-26T16:23:00.000-05:00

Alright guys, this is not an easy article to read. It will definitely make you queasy if you're like me, or at least cringe a bit even if you don't have emotions at all. But here it is:

The New York Times
New York, NY
Published Friday, August 20, 1999

Commentary: Linking Drop in Crime to Rise in Abortion: Roe v. Wade Resulted in Unborn Criminals, 2 Economists Theorize
Erica Goode

The New York Times

No one is certain why crime rates have plummeted in the United States over the last decade. But that fact has not prevented politicians from gleefully taking credit for the , or academics from ruminating endlessly on its causes.

The newest theory about why crime is down, however, put forward in a report by two highly regarded economists, is drawing both outrage and intense debate - even before the full report has been published or subjected to peer review.

In the report, Dr. John J. Donohue of Stanford Law School and Dr. Steven D. Levitt of the University of Chicago contend that a large share of the drop in crime in the 1990's perhaps as much as half - can be attributed to the sharp increase in abortions after the Supreme Court ruling in Roe v. Wade in 1973.

Fewer crimes are being committed now, the researchers contend, because many of the children who might have grown up to commit those crimes were never born. Within a few years of the Roe v. Wade decision, which established a constitutional right to abortion, up to a quarter of pregnancies in the United States ended in abortion, statistics show.

Dr. Donohue and Dr. Levitt base their thesis on economic analyses of crime rates from 1985 to 1997, examined as a function of abortion rates two decades before.

The timing of the decline in crime, they found, coincided with the period when children born shortly after the Roe v. Wade decision would be reaching the late teen-age years the peak ages for criminal activity.

States that were the first to legalize abortion, Dr. Donohue and Dr. Levitt found, including New York, Washington, Alaska and Hawaii, were also the first to experience a decrease in crime. For example, in states that legalized abortion in 1969 or 1970, the researchers found, the cumulative decrease in crime from 1982 to 1997 was greater than for the rest of the nation. The decrease in murder was 16.2 percent greater, the decrease in violent crime over all was 34.4 percent greater, and the decrease in property crime was 35.3 percent greater.

Also, states with the highest abortion rates, the researchers found, had larger reductions in crime than states with low abortion rates.

The most likely explanation for these findings, the researchers assert, is that abortion has occurred selectively, decreasing the number of children likely to commit crimes as adults.

"Most of the reduction," Dr. Levitt and Dr. Donohue write, "appears to be attributable to higher rates of abortion by mothers whose children are most likely to be at risk for future crime." Teen-agers, unmarried women and black women, for example, have higher rates of abortion, the researchers note, and children born to mothers in these groups are statistically at higher risk for crime in adulthood.

The economic benefit to society of abortion in reducing crime, the researchers suggest, "may be on the order of $30 billion annually." The conclusion of the report, a draft of which was posted on a Web site of the Social Science Research Network, is not a popular one. When it was reported in The Chicago Tribune on Aug. 8, it provoked angry op-ed columns, tirades on radio talk shows and expressions of indignation by groups on both sides of the abortion divide. And the economists have been accused of everything from promoting eugenics to recommending abortion as a means to reduce crime.

"It takes great skill to simultaneously infuriate the right and the left," said Dr. Alfred Blumstein, an expert on crime rates and University Professor at the Heinz School of Carnegie Mellon University, observing the ferocity of the response.

In a news release, Joseph Scheidler, executive director of the Pro-Life Action League, called the study "so fraught with stupidity that I hardly know where to start refuting it." "Naturally, if you kill off a million and a half people a year," Mr. Scheidler said, "a few criminals will be in that number. So will doctors, philosophers, musicians and artists."

Frances Kissling, president of Catholics for a Free Choice, an organization based in Washington, commented that even if the report's findings were right, "the question in a certain sense is, "So what?"

"I don't think it has any policy implications whatsoever," Ms. Kissling said. "Abortion is a profoundly private decision" that women make based on "their own lives and circumstances," and not public benefit.

And in a recent column, Carl Rowan wrote, "I've seen a lot of farfetched and dangerous ideas passed off as 'social research,' but none more shallow and potentially malicious than the claim that the drop in crime in the United States can be attributed to legalized abortions."

Dr. Blumstein and other criminal justice experts acknowledged that the economists may well have demonstrated that abortion rates have had an effect on crime, though until the paper is published and subjected to academic scrutiny, they said, it is difficult to assess the findings.

But they expressed skepticism that abortion's effect on crime was as great as Dr. Donohue and Dr. Levitt posited. Declining crime rates, Dr. Blumstein said, appear to be the result of many complicated factors, including the dwindling of the crack cocaine epidemic, an improved economy, greater job opportunities for low-income youth and the steady growth of the prison population.

Changing attitudes among teenagers and innovative policing strategies may also be contributors, other experts said.

"These are very able guys," Dr. Blumstein said of Dr. Donohue and Dr. Levitt, "and I'm prepared to believe that they've discerned an effect. But I think they've gone too far in claiming that it can account for half of the decline, when there are a multitude of effects going on that are much more proximate to the situation."

Dr. David J. Garrow, a historian at Emory University and author of "Liberty and Sexuality" (University of California Press, 1998), a history of the abortion debate, called the economists' theory "interesting and original." But he questioned the researchers' knowledge of abortion history and was skeptical of the usefulness of the report.

"The policy implication of this paper is that if you renewed Medicaid funding for abortion at the Federal level, you'd dramatically reduce crime 17 years from now," Dr. Garrow said. "But are we going to find any interest group in America that is going to make that argument? No. Neither side in the debate wants to touch it with a 10-foot pole."

For his part, Dr. Levitt said in an interview that the research was "by no means a complete explanation" and that he and Dr. Donohue were aware that "the world is complicat-ed." He added that they did not in-tend their work to influence public policy. "Our paper should have little to no impact on any policy regarding abortion," Dr. Levitt said.

"There's nothing in our paper that either indirectly or directly suggests that we condone denying anyone the right to have children if they want to have children," Dr. Levitt added. "We've been accused of having a eugenic agenda and it just is not an accurate appraisal of what we're do-ing at all. If anything, what our paper says is that when you remove a gov-ernment prohibition against a wom-an choosing, the woman makes choices that lead to better outcomes for her children."

2005-09-12T16:22:00.000-05:00

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy a cappella!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...That is all.

September 11, 2005 -- Four years later.

2005-09-11T11:28:00.000-05:00

...Rest in peace.

Just a little something I found interesting.

2005-08-23T03:30:00.000-05:00

So I'm reading stuff in an online informational course I have to do for Tufts. It's about alcohol. Here's a page that I actually thought was interesting information:

-----

From the classroom to the keg, women are making it clear that they can do anything that men can. In the past, college guys were seen as the hard-drinking partiers, but boozing hard is not just for the boys anymore. Now, their female counterparts are catching up in the excessive drinking habit. A recent study found that four out of every 10 college women engaged in binge drinking - not far behind the five out of every 10 college men who did the same. But as the ladies climb the charts in case races and beer pong they may not realize how biological differences can get them into trouble. Because of the way their bodies are, women are affected differently than men by alcohol. Here’s why:

* In general, when a man and woman who are the same size drink exactly the same amount of alcohol, the woman will wind up with a higher Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC). This is because women absorb and metabolize alcohol differently than men. Women have more body fat and less water in their bodies than men of similar weight. Since alcohol dissolves in water, not fat, the concentration of alcohol in men is more diluted than in women. So, if a woman and man of the same weight drink the same amount of alcohol, the woman will have a higher concentration of alcohol in her blood and will feel the effects of the alcohol more quickly.

* Body fat is not the only contributor to the differences in alcohol’s effects on men and women. Research has shown that women’s bodies have about half as much alcohol dehydrogenase, the enzyme that breaks down alcohol in the stomach before it can be absorbed into the bloodstream and affect the brain. So, more of what women drink goes into the bloodstream as pure alcohol.

* Hormone changes associated with a woman’s menstrual cycle can boost the effect of alcohol at different times of the month.

* Recent research indicates that women are more vulnerable to becoming addicted to all drugs, including alcohol, and that the health consequences occur faster and with greater severity than for men. Women who initiate drinking as teens are more likely to become depressed and more likely to become alcoholics than males who initiate drinking as teenagers.

* Women who drink heavily are more susceptible than men to organ damage from alcohol, specifically damage to the liver, brain, and heart. Some studies also indicate that drinking increases the risk of breast cancer. Women who drink tend to develop liver disease 10 to 15 years earlier than men, even if their alcohol consumption is much less. Women who are alcoholics are more likely to develop hepatitis and die from cirrhosis of the liver.

Since women become intoxicated more readily than men, they are more vulnerable to sexual victimization. Researchers estimate that alcohol is a factor in over two-thirds of all acquaintance or date rape incidents among teens and college students.

2005-06-19T16:35:00.000-05:00

I know something in my life is now different than from when I was a kid, because today I looked back on something I wrote a year ago, and it still sounded like my own voice in my head.

I think that's important. Kind of scary, kind of exciting. Hope you like me how I am now, world.

Please...

2005-06-12T05:06:00.000-05:00

Visit this site, and sign the petition. All you need to enter is your name, email, and zip code. Here's the link:
http://www.moveonpac.org/tellthetruth/

This is really important. Search google for Downing Street Memo if you want to know exactly what it is, but essentially, on May 1st one of England's main papers published an expose on a memo which dates to before the Iraq war, wherein a Bush representative admitted that the administration wanted to cook intelligence on WMD in order to go to war. Why we needed a British paper to tell us this, I don't know -- it's obvious already -- but I guess because it's actually published, it has meaning, or something. Anyway, the petition only needs three thousand more signatures to hit 500,000; and that's a pretty large number. So please, sign it! And send it to everyone you know!

2005-06-03T05:35:00.000-05:00

To argue with a man who has renounced his reason is like giving medicine to the dead.
-- Thomas Paine, The Crisis

Quote of the Day:

2005-05-22T02:56:00.000-05:00

To be is to do--Socrates.
To do is to be--Jean-Paul Sartre.
Do be do be do--Frank Sinatra.
--Kurt Vonnegut, Jr

2005-05-11T18:25:00.000-05:00

Blackbird singing in the dead of night -
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

All your life... you were only waiting for this moment to arrive.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night -
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see.

All your life... you were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird - fly...
Blackbird - fly... into the night of the dark black sky.

2005-05-09T17:44:00.000-05:00

A very amusing comic. I hope you all enjoy it:

http://applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=187

In other news, today was the AP physics test. Now, I cant really tell you anything about it, or the College Board mafia will come for me. But suffice to say, the mutliple choice was not too hard, but when I saw the written questions I wanted to wet myself. Alright, that's actually just because there wasn't a bathroom break between the two, but still. So there are three questions on the mechanics written section, right?

The first one was pretty easy. There was one part of it I didn't do, because I wanted to work on the rest of the questions before I tried to figure it out. Oh well, no big deal.

The second question -- hah. In two days I'll edit this to say what I did on it. Stay tuned for vast amusement. I'll tell you, though -- when he called time, I wasn't done illustrating, and everyone around me who suddenly noticed what I was doing started laughing uncontrollably. Oh man... I hope I at least get some points for making the readers' days brighter. =P

The third question I barely even really remember. Something with a rod hitting a ball. Meh. I did the algebra they asked for, but when they wanted me to actually give them hard numbers, no such luck.

In conclusion, our school either needs a new Physics AP teacher or needs to stop offering the class. Because that was just embarassing. Oh well -- it really doesn't matter; because of my other AP scores, I'll have one semester advanced standing, and even with a five on this test I wouldn't be a year ahead. Well, I'll probably have to take some kind of lab science again, but oh well. Maybe I'll give chem another shot -- my chem class sucked, freshman year, and I'd like to actually learn some of the stuff.

And now -- for an entire afternoon filled with nothing but superheroes. Away!

If you like LOTR

2005-05-09T04:15:00.000-05:00

Go here: http://www.ytmnd.com/site_data//57000/57639/image.gif

That is all I have to say.

Movies to see!

2005-05-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

Finally! At long last! A truly frivolous post! :-P

This is my current list of movies I absolutely MUST see... just in order of how they happen to enter my mind.

Batman Begins
Fantastic Four
Serenity
Sin City
Star Wars: Episode III
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Kung Fu Hustle
Kingdom of Heaven

That's what comes to mind. If you have any suggestions, feel free to add to it.

That's it for now. Off to summarize every book I've read in high school in preparation for AP lit tomorrow, and then see if i can write a speech for graduation. Later.

Edit: Include "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" on the list

2005-05-06T20:13:00.000-05:00

Euro AP today...

Hah. I aced that shit. =P

2005-05-02T00:26:00.000-05:00

To argue with a man who has renounced his reason is like giving medicine to the dead.
-- Thomas Paine, The Crisis

2005-05-01T21:24:00.000-05:00

I sat, faced north, and paused to think
and wonder at where I should be.
The sky, while not reseponding, said to look
not to its kingdom of dreams, for they were not real.

Instead, thought it, the stars in every
cell of life around you shall, if found, tell you
not where you are, but where you aren't.
I did look east, I did look west,
no stars to find, my eyes did rest.

And then, as wind I tasted on my tongue, I felt
a noise -
soft, that I could not hear it,
loud, that I heard nothing else
The stars in every blade of grass, in
every cell about me sang, each shining bright
as always they had and always they would...

I listen.

Face North, they say, face north and know
that north is nothing but another
man's thought of where I must go.

Face up, they say, face up and see
that up and down may cease to be
when stop to hate each other do we.

The kingdom in the sky, I think
the land of dreams. When at long last
the sky goes black, this land is
still yet lit. And when in time it still
does lose each color, one by one, I do
now know that light is there
from every star, not sun.

Everyday Hero

2005-04-29T03:31:00.000-05:00

I heard a whirring noise scream at me from behind, and dropped to the floor just in time to avoid a spinning blade which stuck into the wall in front of me about where my head had just been. Launching myself back to my feet with my unusually strong biceps and spinning around instantaneously with my abnormally athletic physique, I quickly found the culprit: a lithe, cloaked figure skulked in the shadows, poised for action. Looking up, I noticed that what I had thought to be a warehouse ceiling morphed into an open alleyway between two skyscrapers, and as my would-be opponent launched himself off the walls of the buildings around us towards the sky, I looked up and knew I had but a single option: to follow.

Not knowing exactly how to proceed upwards, I closed my eyes and willed myself into the air, throwing my arms out in front of me and leaping into the air. Sure enough, I felt the wind surge past my face as I soared upwards in hot pursuit of the villain who had so nearly taken my head a few seconds before. My rage of justice provoked, I felt a rush of anticipation: I was finally going to be a hero, like the ones I’d worshipped all my life. My heart’s pace sped with my ascent, matching my own acceleration, but despite my supernatural speed, my assailant managed to keep maddeningly out of reach. I saw the open sky falling towards me, and knew in just a few moments we would reach the roof, or as I preferred to see it, the epic battleground.

As the shadowy warrior flung himself one last time off of the skyscraper wall and landed deftly on the roof of the investment firm, I catapulted up and through the opening, falling up towards the open night sky. I expected that as soon as I stopped moving, another blade would be headed my way, and sure enough, when I jerked to a mere hover, a jagged steel ring was well on its way. Fortunately I had been prescient enough to anticipate its arrival, and performed an aerial somersault to allow it to pass right by me and cut nothing but air. The villain’s attempt at my destruction now twice foiled, I felt a swelling of vengefulness from inside my soul, which manifested itself in a ball of blue energy I found myself holding in my upright palm. As the shadowy figure wound back its arm for another disc-flinging attempt, I thrust forward my hand with holy fury and let loose my own power. The crackling blue orb shot forth, deleting the spinning blade of death in mid-flight and then jolting the would-be assassin square in the chest. The figure was momentarily illuminated by an aura of electricity, and then fell motionless to the rooftop.

I stared in disbelief, first at my hand which had caused this destruction, and then at the scene below me. I couldn’t make sense of it -- all of a sudden, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be this hero at all. Sure, it all seemed logical enough: if a mysterious figure tries repeatedly to deprive one of what is rightfully one’s own, as in one’s head, it would seem that one would have every right to defend one’s self as necessary… and surely, the neutralization of this rogue agent of chaos would make the city a safer place for the common man. That was what superheroes were for, right? Right. But still… something in me didn’t feel quite right about hurting someone who was, after all, a human just like I was.

With all this weighing heavily on my mind, I slowly floated down the twenty feet or so to the rooftop. As my boots reconnected with solid ground, I suddenly feared that I would not be able to regain my flight, and with that fear I felt the power that I had tapped into for my chase leave my body. Feeling nothing but dread, but able to do nothing else, I slowly approached the prone figure. I could see nothing but a black robe, still smoldering from the shock I had dealt it, and I feared what I might see if I looked more closely. Sorry already, I reached down with my black-gloved hand and turned over the unmoving body. Before me lay an odd sight: A young man, with a pale complexion and angelically golden hair, bore a supremely peaceful expression. Moved to tears at the destruction I had wrought, I shut my eyes and began sobbing openly.

As I opened them, my brain confusedly attempted to reconcile the image now before my eyes with the visual input it had just been receiving. There was a white roof over my head, with a ceiling fan, and my personal belongings were all about. It was the introduction of auditory information into this new scene that allowed my befuddled senses to sort themselves out: a radio suddenly blared out rock music from the corner of the room, and I finally realized that I had just woken up and it had all been a dream.

The coolest hacker ever.

2005-04-25T14:55:00.000-05:00

Hey all,

Sorry my last series of posts was a bit disjointed -- I was using an unfamiliar third party client to upload my image files, and so it put them in an order which didn't make much sense to me. But that's alright.

Today's post is about this story. I read it, and almost died of laughter. Check it out: http://www.jellyslab.com/~bteo/hacker.htm .

(Credit to Hawk at applegeeks.com for posting the story on his blog)

2005-04-25T02:27:00.002-05:00

Policeman.

2005-04-25T02:27:00.001-05:00

The child.

2005-04-25T02:27:00.000-05:00

A potentially bionic policeman coming out of some sort of recharge tank. His proportions are a little off, but oh well. Next is a child on a street corner -- rain is yet to be added. Finally, a man flying over water. I tried to capture the appearance of the water flying up behind him, and forming a bit of an indent in the lake surface, albeit with minimal success.

The First Rule of Conclave is...

2005-04-21T02:13:00.000-05:00

You do not talk about Conclave!

Yay having a pope. But that's not what this post is about at all.

So I've been in driver's ed this week. Being the resourceful and curious individual that I am, I've been paying attention to driving my whole *life*, not just starting this previous tuesday. An unfortunate consequence of this, however, is that I am bored out of my mind in class. So, since Andrew Coe is in my class and he drew in my notebook on day 1, I've been sketching and rendering nonstop ever since. I'm going to post my pictures up here. Hang just a second.

An interesting read...

2005-02-07T19:48:00.000-05:00

Wayland, Mass. — IN Baghdad's Fardus Square, where Iraqi civilians and American marines so famously pulled down the statue of Saddam Hussein in the spring of 2003, Iraqi artists have raised a new sculpture on the same pedestal. It is a monument to liberty and freedom, and unlike any other in the world.

In Europe and America, the favorite symbols of liberty and freedom are individual figures like Marianne or the Statue of Liberty. This Iraqi statue is a family group: mother, father and child so close together that they become one being. Above them are a crescent moon and sun, emblems of Islamic faith and Sumerian culture. One of its creators remarked that both civilizations "have called for love, peace and freedom."

The Baghdad monument was the work of a group of Iraqi artists called Najeen, or the Survivors. After the Persian Gulf war in 1991, they worked underground to keep alive the spirit of liberty and freedom. Their monument has a message about that. "Freedom is not a gift from people with tanks," Basim Hassad, a Najeen member, told a BBC reporter. "What we see in our country could be the first signs of freedom. ...What remains is a history that we will make together with the Najeen group at its heart."

Foreigners who opposed the Iraqi war were not impressed. "On top of the marble column where Saddam's statue stood, someone put up the most hideous monstrosity I've ever seen," one wrote contemptuously. "A green statue ...with a face that's not recognizable as anything human. It's supposed to be some kind of 'goddess of liberty,' but it looks like nothing in any of the worlds."

The writer missed the meaning of the monument, which in fact has much to teach us about liberty and freedom. These ideas are growing and changing rapidly today, and their long history is more dynamic and diverse than our thoughts about it. There is no one true definition of liberty and freedom in the world, though many people to the left and right believe that they have found it. And, yet, there is one great historical process in which liberty and freedom have developed, often in unexpected ways.

The words themselves have a surprising history. The oldest known word with such a meaning comes to us from ancient Iraq. The Sumerian "ama-ar-gi," found on tablets in the ruins of the city-state of Lagash, which flourished four millenniums ago, derived from the verb "ama-gi," which literally meant "going home to mother." It described the condition of emancipated servants who returned to their own free families - an interesting link to the monument in Baghdad. (In contemporary America, the ancient characters for "ama-ar-gi" have become the logos of some libertarian organizations, as well as tattoos among members of politically conservative motorcycle gangs, who may not know that the inscriptions on their biceps mean heading home to mom.)

Equally surprising are the origins of our English words liberty and, especially, freedom. They have very different roots. The Latin libertas and Greek eleutheria both indicated a condition of independence, unlike a slave. (In science, eleutherodactylic means separate fingers or toes.) Freedom, however, comes from the same root as friend, an Indo-European word that meant "dear" or "beloved." It meant a connection to other free people by bonds of kinship or affection, also unlike a slave. Liberty and freedom both meant "unlike a slave." But liberty meant privileges of independence; freedom referred to rights of belonging.

We English-speakers are possibly unique in having both "liberty" and "freedom" in our ordinary speech. The two words have blurred together in modern usage, but the old tension between them persists like a coiled spring in our culture. It has inspired an astonishing fertility of thought. Americans have invented many ideas of liberty and freedom. Some are close to independence, others to rights of belonging. Most are highly creative combinations. For most people they are not academic abstractions or political ideologies, but inherited ideas that we hold as what Tocqueville called "habits of the heart." They tend to be entire visions of a free society, and we see them in our mind's eye through symbols and emblems, much as Najeen envisions symbols in Iraq.

I have counted more than 500 such literal symbols of liberty and freedom in America alone. In the American Revolution they included New England's Liberty Tree with its collective sense of town-born rights, Philadelphia's great Quaker Bell ringing for all humanity, Virginia's hierarchical Liberty Goddess, South Carolina's Liberty Crescent, and the rattlesnake of individual independence, with its motto, "Don't Tread on Me." Other emblems were invented by German immigrants, African slaves, trans-Atlantic artisans and Loyalist elites. All were different combinations of liberty and freedom.

The Civil War, of course, was a conflict between visions of liberty, freedom, union and rights of belonging on one side; and ideas of states' rights, separation and liberty to keep a slave on the other. Many competing images of liberty and freedom appeared in the Progressive Era, and again in the 1930's when President Franklin D. Roosevelt's "broader definition of liberty" and "greater freedom, greater security" were fiercely opposed by the conservative Liberty League. It happened again in the 1950's and 60's, with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream of freedom as rights of belonging, and Barry Goldwater's impassioned idea of liberty as independence from intrusive government. But perhaps the most fertile period of invention was the late 20th century. Through 16 generations, American ideas of liberty and freedom have grown larger, deeper, more diverse and yet more inclusive in these collisions of contested visions.

One can observe this growth not only in America as a whole, but also in the thought of individual Americans. An example, of course, is George W. Bush. His speeches before 2001 centered on a particular idea of personal liberty, private property, individual responsibility and minimal government. By his second inaugural last month, that vision had grown larger. It preserved the idea of individual liberty, but also quoted Franklin Roosevelt's "broader definition of liberty" and "greater freedom from want and fear." It embraced Dr. King's "freedom now," and adopted the universal Quaker vision of "liberty throughout all the land," even enlarging it to "liberty throughout all the world."

How these words will be defined by acts in Mr. Bush's second term remains to be seen. His first administration was very careless of civil liberties for others, and little interested in civil rights; he spoke often of the rights of the unborn but enacted fiscal policies that betrayed the rights of generations to come. One hopes that the larger spirit of the second inaugural address will appear in political acts to come.

I found it most striking that Mr. Bush also explicitly recognized that liberty and freedom take different forms throughout the world, where "others find their own voice, attain their own freedom, and make their own way." His phrasing would seem to recognize that this is a global process that is broader than the American experience of liberty and freedom, and yet preserves the same dynamics.

In India, for example, leaders of the Congress Party have combined Western ideas with Hindu and Buddhist beliefs to create old-new visions of liberty and freedom that are unique to that republic. In Beijing, the students who constructed the Goddess of Tiananmen Square in 1989 created a new symbol that combined American liberty and freedom, Russian socialism and Chinese culture, a radical new vision of a free world. The people of Eastern Europe have invented their own visions from traditions like Poland's collective memory of its "golden freedom" during the 17th century. The same thing is happening in Ukraine and the Balkans, Latin America and Africa, Southeast Asia and the Pacific.

Most of all it is happening in Islam today. We find it in the Baghdad monument that links liberty and freedom to the faith of Islam and the history of Mesopotamia. We see it in the ink-stained fingers of millions of Iraqis, held upright in a new symbol of courage against tyranny, pride in an ancient past, and hope for the future of a free world.

The catch, of course, is that people become more truly free only when the central ideas are respected: liberty as the rights of individual independence, freedom in the rights of collective belonging. Many on the right and left continue to call for one idea without the other, but the strongest ground is in the center, where they come together.

People across the globe will continue to create new combinations of liberty and freedom, with an inexhaustible fertility of invention. These visions are profoundly different from one another, but they are all part of one great historical process that is more open and free than any one idea of liberty or freedom has ever been, or even wished to be.
_____________________________________

--David Hackett Fischer, a professor of history at Brandeis, is the author of "Liberty and Freedom: A Visual History of America's Founding Ideas."

Done!

2005-01-13T16:51:00.000-05:00

No, not with apps.. I've finally finished "The Sun", in conjunction with my good friend Scott. It's just the two of us, doing the whole song a cappella -- so if you want a copy of it, let me know, and i'll send it to you either in email or through AIM.

2004-12-21T04:43:00.000-05:00

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle."
-Edmund Burke, Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents, 1770

I don't even want to GO there...

2004-12-15T23:21:00.000-05:00

but...

please let me get in?

That is all.

Quote of the century:

2004-12-14T01:49:00.000-05:00

"If mankind truly hated war,
There would be millions of diplomats
and only two soldiers."

-Lee Blessing, "A Walk In The Woods"

Stanford short essay #2

2004-12-12T23:10:00.000-05:00

In recent times, it has become apparent to me that the world’s nations have starkly conflicting views on the future of our species and our planet, and no side seems to be willing to compromise its view as much as any other side would like it to. I’ve also observed that the basis for all human society is the ability to recognize patterns in behavior and thus form order and law out of chaos by predicting probable outcomes. Thus, the difference between different nations' viewpoints may seem so inevitable because it all comes down to the languages we speak, and the ways in which those languages shape the patterns we see in the world.
Maybe the difference in what language a person first learns affects how they view the entire world, because it imposes a system of pattern recognition upon their baby brain; a system which is different from that of other languages which follow different patterns. If this was the case, it would mean so many things for our world. For instance, would humanity suffer fewer conflicts if we all spoke the same language? Could we devise a new language and intentionally engineer the inherent patterns in it to provoke construction over destruction and peaceful resolution over war and combat? To me, this concept is fascinating - because by coming to better understand the underlying mechanics in our own brains, we could potentially manipulate our future generations to be cured of the problems which have plagued our own era.

2004-12-12T17:12:00.000-05:00

Do you believe in transcendence?

2004-12-09T23:24:00.000-05:00

If all the world were of one opinion save for one man only, the world would have no more right to silence him than would he, if he had the power, to silence the whole world. --John Stuart Mill

2004-12-01T00:26:00.000-05:00

Nightmares again.

Somatics mimic the psychotic mental wasteland.

Something's got to change, I realize. No more of this crap. No more not being able to sleep, no more not going to school, no more just trying to stay out of notice.

No. I've been running away, I now know, and I won't stand for it any longer. If our actions define us, then we must choose our actions to further define our person. And I'm not giving up on myself.

Of course, It's one thing to [i]say[/i] it... but here's to trying.

A little something of a heads-up...

2004-11-22T01:34:00.000-05:00

Negotiators Add Abortion Clause to Spending Bill
By SHERYL GAY STOLBERG and CARL HULSE

Published: November 20, 2004

ASHINGTON, Saturday, Nov. 20 - House and Senate negotiators have tucked a potentially far-reaching anti-abortion provision into a $388 billion must-pass spending bill, complicating plans for Congress to wrap up its business and adjourn for the year.

The provision may be an early indication of the growing political muscle of social conservatives who provided crucial support for Republican candidates, including President Bush, in the election.

House officials said Saturday morning that the final details of the spending measure were worked out before midnight and that the bill was filed for the House vote on Saturday.

The abortion language would bar federal, state and local agencies from withholding taxpayer money from health care providers that refuse to provide or pay for abortions or refuse to offer abortion counseling or referrals. Current federal law, aimed at protecting Roman Catholic doctors, provides such "conscience protection'' to doctors who do not want to undergo abortion training. The new language would expand that protection to all health care providers, including hospitals, doctors, clinics and insurers.

"It's something we've had a longstanding interest in," said Douglas Johnson, a spokesman for the National Right to Life Committee. He added, "This is in response to an orchestrated campaign by pro-abortion groups across the country to use government agencies to coerce health care providers to participate in abortions."

The provision could affect millions of American women, according to Senator Barbara Boxer, Democrat of California, who warned Friday that she would use procedural tactics to slow Senate business to a crawl if the language was not altered.

"I am willing to stand on my feet and slow this thing down," Ms. Boxer said. "Everyone wants to go home, I know that, and I know I will not win a popularity contest in the Senate. But they should not be doing this. On a huge spending bill they're writing law, and they're taking away rights from women."

Ms. Boxer said that she complained to Senator Ted Stevens, the Alaska Republican who is the chairman of the Appropriations Committee, but that he told her that House Republican leaders insisted that the provision, which was approved by the House in July but never came to the Senate for a vote, be included in the measure.

"He said, 'Senator, they want it in, and it's going in,' " Ms. Boxer recalled.

A spokeswoman for Mr. Stevens, Melanie Alvord, said on Friday that her boss would have no comment on the spending bill because House and Senate negotiators had not settled on the final language.

Some lawmakers and Congressional aides interpreted the House leaders' insistence as reflection of the new political strength of the anti-abortion movement and of Christian conservatives, who played an important role in re-electing Mr. Bush this month.

"They are catering to their right wing doing this," said Senator Tom Harkin, Democrat of Iowa. "It doesn't make it right. I think this is the first step."

Mr. Harkin said he intended to try to force a vote next year on support for upholding the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision, which legalized abortion. "I think it is time the women of America understand what is happening here," he said.

The spending measure, called an omnibus bill, was the main reason Congress returned to Washington after the election, and members of both parties say that despite Ms. Boxer's warnings, it is likely to pass with the abortion language intact.

The alternative is to let government funding for a wide array of agencies - like the F.B.I., the National Park Service and the Environmental Protection Agency - run out, in effect causing a partial government shutdown.

Lawmakers in the House and the Senate intended to vote on the omnibus bill on Saturday, when a stopgap spending measure is set to expire at midnight. Congress failed to pass 9 of its 13 required spending bills before its election recess, leaving much of the government - with the exception of the Pentagon and the Department of Homeland Security - to operate under the interim measure.

The 11th-hour controversy over the abortion language capped a long and chaotic day Friday. In the House, the ethics committee ruled that a Democratic lawmaker had brought exaggerated charges against Representative Tom DeLay of Texas, the majority leader, a finding that provoked another round of bitter recriminations between Republicans and Democrats.

In the Senate, the Democratic leader, Tom Daschle of South Dakota, who lost his re-election bid, delivered a poignant farewell speech that brought him a standing ovation.

"It's had its challenges, its triumphs, its disappointments," Mr. Daschle said of his 26-year career in Congress, which included a decade as the Democratic leader. "But everything was worth doing."

Mr. Daschle is the first Senate party leader in more than half a century to lose a re-election campaign. His emotional talk, in which he also urged his colleagues to find "common ground," was attended by nearly all of the Senate's Democrats, who gathered him in their arms and hugged him afterward.

But only a few Republicans showed up, and Senator Bill Frist, the majority leader, who broke with Senate tradition to campaign against Mr. Daschle in his home state, South Dakota, did not appear until after Mr. Daschle finished speaking. The scant Republican showing provoked Senator Frank R. Lautenberg, Democrat of New Jersey, to speak out. "I don't know why, why in the closing days, some element of comity, some element of grace, some element of respect for a human being, could not have gotten some of our friends out of their offices," Mr. Lautenberg said.

Outside the Senate chamber, the common ground Mr. Daschle spoke of seemed hard to find. House and Senate negotiators were still trying to salvage a reorganization of the nation's intelligence agencies. And Ms. Boxer was trying to negotiate changes to the abortion language, she said, with little success.

Louise Melling, director of the Reproductive Freedom Project at the American Civil Liberties Union, which has opposed the provision, said it would effectively strip states of their right to "enforce laws that were designed to protect women's health."

For instance, she said, there are four states - Hawaii, Maryland, New York and Washington - that pay for some abortions for low-income women through their Medicaid programs. Under the language included in the omnibus bill, hospitals would not have to comply with those requirements.

On Friday, nine female senators - eight Democrats and one Republican, Olympia J. Snowe of Maine - wrote a letter to Senator Stevens asking that the language be changed and complaining that it had not gone through committee or to the Senate floor for a vote.

Ms. Snowe called the language "a bad provision" that would "adversely affect reproductive health access for women across the country." She added, "It is an ill-advised policy that is clearly harmful to women."

The bill generally holds spending to the level sought by the White House. The huge measure also contains scores of home-state projects sought by lawmakers.

2004-11-04T16:06:00.000-05:00

The Day the Enlightenment Went Out

By GARRY WILLS

--

Evanston, Illinois:

This election confirms the brilliance of Karl Rove as a political strategist. He calculated that the religious conservatives, if they could be turned out, would be the deciding factor. The success of the plan was registered not only in the presidential results but also in all 11 of the state votes to ban same-sex marriage. Mr. Rove understands what surveys have shown, that many more Americans believe in the Virgin Birth than in Darwin's theory of evolution.

This might be called Bryan's revenge for the Scopes trial of 1925, in which William Jennings Bryan's fundamentalist assault on the concept of evolution was discredited. Disillusionment with that decision led many evangelicals to withdraw from direct engagement in politics. But they came roaring back into the arena out of anger at other court decisions - on prayer in school, abortion, protection of the flag and, now, gay marriage. Mr. Rove felt that the appeal to this large bloc was worth getting President Bush to endorse a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage (though he had opposed it earlier).

The results bring to mind a visit the Dalai Lama made to Chicago not long ago. I was one of the people deputized to ask him questions on the stage at the Field Museum. He met with the interrogators beforehand and asked us to give him challenging questions, since he is too often greeted with deference or flattery.

The only one I could think of was: "If you could return to your country, what would you do to change it?" He said that he would disestablish his religion, since "America is the proper model." I later asked him if a pluralist society were possible without the Enlightenment. "Ah," he said. "That's the problem." He seemed to envy America its Enlightenment heritage.

Which raises the question: Can a people that believes more fervently in the Virgin Birth than in evolution still be called an Enlightened nation?

America, the first real democracy in history, was a product of Enlightenment values - critical intelligence, tolerance, respect for evidence, a regard for the secular sciences. Though the founders differed on many things, they shared these values of what was then modernity. They addressed "a candid world," as they wrote in the Declaration of Independence, out of "a decent respect for the opinions of mankind." Respect for evidence seems not to pertain any more, when a poll taken just before the elections showed that 75 percent of Mr. Bush's supporters believe Iraq either worked closely with Al Qaeda or was directly involved in the attacks of 9/11.

The secular states of modern Europe do not understand the fundamentalism of the American electorate. It is not what they had experienced from this country in the past. In fact, we now resemble those nations less than we do our putative enemies.

Where else do we find fundamentalist zeal, a rage at secularity, religious intolerance, fear of and hatred for modernity? Not in France or Britain or Germany or Italy or Spain. We find it in the Muslim world, in Al Qaeda, in Saddam Hussein's Sunni loyalists. Americans wonder that the rest of the world thinks us so dangerous, so single-minded, so impervious to international appeals. They fear jihad, no matter whose zeal is being expressed.

It is often observed that enemies come to resemble each other. We torture the torturers, we call our God better than theirs - as one American general put it, in words that the president has not repudiated.

President Bush promised in 2000 that he would lead a humble country, be a uniter not a divider, that he would make conservatism compassionate. He did not need to make such false promises this time. He was re-elected precisely by being a divider, pitting the reddest aspects of the red states against the blue nearly half of the nation. In this, he is very far from Ronald Reagan, who was amiably and ecumenically pious. He could address more secular audiences, here and abroad, with real respect.

In his victory speech yesterday, President Bush indicated that he would "reach out to the whole nation," including those who voted for John Kerry. But even if he wanted to be more conciliatory now, the constituency to which he owes his victory is not a yielding one. He must give them what they want on things like judicial appointments. His helpers are also his keepers.

The moral zealots will, I predict, give some cause for dismay even to nonfundamentalist Republicans. Jihads are scary things. It is not too early to start yearning back toward the Enlightenment.

Oh my god...

2004-11-03T04:23:00.000-05:00

Please let there be like a million provisional ballots in Ohio...

God save us all.

2004-11-01T01:02:00.000-05:00

Why do I read?

An Alternate World

2004-10-20T01:12:00.000-05:00

I am sitting cross legged across from a fireplace, in which flames are burning low. Through the window on the adjacent wall, snow can be seen falling and piling up outside. The building is wooden, yet somewhat modern -- perhaps a cabin from the 1920's. As I sit alone and rock back and forth, the wind blowing across the roof makes its own sort of music; a song I have heard before, inside me, somewhere.

I close my eyes, and this world fades from around me, for now. But I'll be back.

2004-10-17T00:34:00.000-05:00

The flights are booked, the tickets bought.

Come November, I shall escape.

2004-10-15T15:08:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 7:30 this morning, but yet still had slept for twelve hours. I don't know if my issues are more psychological or are a result of physical maladies in my body, or, most likely, a combination of the two. I'd write more, but I'd rather read Moby Dick. I've got a lot to get through by Monday, and I'm working a lot.

One for the record books.

2004-10-13T21:26:00.000-05:00

"Well I sure hope it isn't the administration..."

--George W. Bush

Complete Works

2004-10-08T01:18:00.000-05:00

That was fantastic! Let's do it again!

Oh wait, we are, tomorrow night! =). Seriously, if you're in the area and don't have plans for friday night, come see this show. It was really good tonight, and I know it'll be only better tomorrow.

Oh man, that was a blast. Sure, I bruised myself a few places and dehydrated myself and generally am totally and utterly exhausted now... But oh, was it ever worth it. And we taped it, too! So if anyone wants to see the tape, after it's made, maybe i can get you a copy. or at the very least, let you borrow mine. =D

Ahhh... Well, now I'm home, and sadly I have to go to school again tomorrow. Hrm. Which means I have homework to be starting. And a five page paper to write.

Better hop to it.

I owe you a punch.

2004-10-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

7J55526, was the plate.

Anyone still play that game?

Anyway, I just got back from a mega-rehearsal. Two complete run-throughs of only the most tiring show, ever. EVER. Tomorrow I only have one class, although it's pretty hard... then I'm going to go see Jenn, and go for lunch downtown los altos. I'll speed back from there to school, to run cross country, then go home, shower, breathe for an hour, and go get ready for the show.

Oh boy. Here it comes! =D

Haha, I'm so excited. Even if it's not perfect, it's really really damn good. I hope we get a recording -- that'd be nice. Hmm. Should get on that.

Anyway, I've got a ton of work to do, food to eat, and sleep to catch up on. More of an update later.

I Am No Superman.

2004-10-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm a mess. I don't even know where to begin...

I'm so SICK of being sick! Or, of being prevented from doing what I want to do in my life, more generally. I feel like my soul is under fire -- like somehow, my body will survive this year, but nothing more. And that makes me sad.

I don't know what to do, about anything. I'm feeling dangerously on an edge. I... I really just want out. Like, running to the hills doesn't sound so bad. =/

I wish I was homeschooled. Wouldn't that be nice?

Kinda late now. Ah well.

I have only one thing to say:

2004-10-05T13:42:00.000-05:00

My life might as well be over, right now. Thank you, mom and dad.

Blah.

2004-10-05T00:47:00.000-05:00

So... freaking... sick!

Yet again. Wow. This is only what, the sixth week of school? If that? And I've already been sick three different times. Amazing. With my luck, I'll have pneumonia by the end of the winter and my yellow fever vaccination will develop into a virulent strain.

Anyway, I'm going to crash into my bed and fall until I hit ground in the morning and wake up. And maybe I'll stay home. I want to stay home. If I feel bad, I will. Fair.

Goodnight.

2004-10-04T00:30:00.000-05:00

The best thing for the good of society is the suffering of the individual.

Welcome, Autumn.

2004-10-02T23:20:00.000-05:00

I know it came a while ago, but I meant to say something about it and forgot -- so I'm saying it now. And with the arrival of our fourth and final season of the year comes a noticable shift in the winds of fate, so to speak. In a drastic reversal of previous policy, my cross country coach ran me JV in Half Moon Bay this morning (at the ungodly hour of 7 am... after homecoming nonetheless... :-P). And, in a corresponding turnaround of performance, I went out and got 7th place.

And thus, with the first weekend of fall comes the first medal of my entire high school cross-country career. And there was much rejoicing.

Homecoming, the day and night, was awesome. A ton of fun. Homecoming the dance was pathetic -- but I knew it would be. Ah well... at least my date and my friends were awesome. I went with Chelsea, who's like, one of my best friends ever. Not that we see each other that often, but we just get along really well, and that's cool. So we went out to dinner with Nick and Josie before the dance, then got to school and were bombarded by loud, badly tuned music. I could have done a better job DJing with an iMac with a 5 gig portable hard drive. It was pretty sad.

We hung out at the dance with a fair number of the cooler people at our school -- just really nice people, who are fun to be around. Those kinds are always the best, of course. There was Danny, my cohort in political activism, with Kate, who's been a friend for a lot longer than just high school... then there was Max, who Chelsea thought was gay because of how much he was hitting on me. (I'm pretty sure he isn't. Doesn't he have a girlfriend? Anyone who knows feel free to back me up...) Others drifted in and out of our group, wherever we were... which was usually outside, where the volume was just low enough not to damage your hearing, as long as you plugged your ears... but yeah. So we left an hour early, because we were seriously going deaf. We would have left sooner, but my condition for leaving was that I had to hear at least one song that we could actually dance to, instead of just having a mass orgy. Which is what all the "cool" kids were doing the whole time. You know how that is, I'm sure.

So after "Billie Jean" played, we left. Two hours without a slow song, too -- it was pretty remarkable. Anyway, we all went over to my house and hung out till about 12:30 -- first we were pretty quiet for a while to let our ears recover, but then we listened to music and just talked about the world and stuff. This was Nick, Josie, Danny, Kate, Chelsea, and myself, that is. And it was much fun. I started teaching Chels how to play the trumpet, and she's going to borrow my old, crappy one... People drifted close to sleep and then were startled by my surprising music... There was some blazing California Liberal political discussion... and all in all, just good fun to be had. It was pretty awesome.

Oh, I forgot to even talk about the day -- it was a minimum day, so I got home at ten thirty or something. I went back around 2 to set up a table for registration forms, but the guy who was supposed to bring them had forgotten... so I really didn't have to be there until 3:30. But in the end, it didn't matter much -- everybody we talked to was already registered. Which was excellent. And there was the parade before I got there, but I assume it was much the same fare as usual. The senior class float, which I built about a third of over the last two weeks, looked absolutely amazing and smashed all of the other classes' in the competition, which rocked. I'll see if I can get some pictures - I didn't have my camera with me - and then post them up here. Whee.

Tommorrow (Sunday) I work from 11:30-6:00. It's my first time working in a while, so I'm looking forward to it. Can't wait till all my other stuff ends, so I can actually work a decent number of hours per week =P. And maybe even get a party or two. Damn it, just cuz I'm not a girl and I'm not the guy who was hired to be "eye candy" doesn't mean I can't do them! Hehe. Ah well. Once I get a shot, if I prove myself, I'm sure I'll get more. And if not, no biggie -- I like working the floor, too.

2004-10-01T04:50:00.000-05:00

The beautiful midnight moon
Reflects off startlingly wintry clouds;
There is peace in my soul.

Excellent...

2004-10-01T03:19:00.000-05:00

I found the paper! =)

Oh man, oh man!

2004-10-01T01:05:00.000-05:00

I'm going to homecoming tomorrow! While I really don't have a whole lot of school spirit... *cough* *cough*... I'm really looking forward to it. =). I might even get to sing the national anthem at the football game! (How sweet would that be?!?) And then, there's the dance at night... It should be a lot of fun. Me and Nick and Josie and Chelsea are all going to dinner in los altos, and then to the dance, and yeah. Our school dances are generally pretty lame, but that's ok. We'll just stand and dance OUR way in the back, and let the kids caught up in the ghetto-gone-pop mentality all have their what-is-effectively-a-giant-but-clothed-orgy all up in the front of the gym. And we can comment on american society. Yes, I'm a nerd, but it's the good sort, I think... hehe. Anyway, it'll be a blast.

The homecoming theme is Hollywood, and so my class picked as our theme for our float?? That's right -- Star Wars. Probably the coolest float to make, ever. I've been constructing it with a few of the other senior guys for the last few weeks, and it's been a ton of fun. We built an eight-foot-tall model of one of those giant four-legged-robot-walkers from "Empire Strikes Back" (AT-ATs, for you Star Wars buffs =P), complete with a head that bobs back and forth as the float moves... and we have an X-wing with folding wings, and a TIE fighter, and a model of R2-D2 that rolls back and forth around the perimeter of the float. Also, I hear we have something involving Darth Vader, but I never worked on that, so I guess I'll see it tomorrow. The parade's at what, like, 1:30? something like that. should be fun =).

I really hope we win. I like designing the stuff that wins, and I really think our theme is the best out of any of the floats... [two of the classes, the juniors and the freshmen, didn't even pick movies. it was like, random stuff that was sort of kind of related to hollywood. well, whatever, it's their funeral =)].

And that's just tomorrow. In other news, we had rehearsal all night tonight, and it went really really well -- a lot better than I thought it would. After a brief run-in with the cops, we continued inside my house (instead of outside) and didn't do blocking, but got through it all mostly without stopping, and that was very good. We need to do it a lot more, of course, but hey, we're rehearsing basically every spare moment of every day till thursday. It's gonna be awesome, I know, and there are some parts of the show that are absolutely rocking, already. Like, righteously so.

Yay for outdated slang. =)

BUT right now I should be looking for a ten page paper I wrote two years ago. I have the same assignment again, and i got a 96 on that one, from the same teacher -- but he probably wouldn't remember it, and even if he did, it's not like i didn't write it. hmm. I THINK that's legal... well, I can always write another one afterwards. I'd just rather not have to. So yeah... I'm looking for my paper on A World Lit Only By Fire, by William Manchester. Good book, excellent, in fact; assuming you like European History. Which I do.

But I digress. Good night. =D

Mission:

2004-09-29T21:00:00.000-05:00

Time Frame:
3 weeks

Target to hit:
Moby Dick

Average:
66 pages a night

Obstructions:
Rehearsal, XC practice, Homework, college apps, school days, performaces of CW, and two five page papers.

I'm taking bets now.

Complete Works!!!

2004-09-29T00:22:00.000-05:00

A general notification:

I'm in The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, [abridged]. That's what I've been rehearsing all the time. Anyway -- the show is only playing two nights right now; thursday the 7th and friday the 8th! So come and see it!

It's at the Mountain View High School theater -- 3535 Truman Avenue, Mountain View is the address. The show's at 8 pm both nights, and tickets are five dollars for those of you lucky enough not to go to our school. Here's the best part, though -- half of all profit from the show goes to charity! Which means that for every person who buys a ticket, some poor kid somewhere will have a little happiness in his life. Yay! So come see it!

(Note: This charity-ness means the merc is printing an article about us. So you might want to come early to get a ticket -- that, or if you leave me a note here and promise to pay me back, I can get you one early and put it in will call.)

Hope everyone wants to come! We've put a lot of work into it, and it's gonna be awesome. For those who don't know, it's a three-man show, and Nick and myself are two of the men and the co-directors. It's INSANELY difficult, and when well-done, the funniest show, ever, in the history of man. And that's a long time.

So hurry up and place orders already! =P

Exhaustion...

2004-09-28T00:21:00.000-05:00

Oh god.

That was the mother of all rehearsals.

I'm too young...

2004-09-27T20:06:00.000-05:00

Guys, I have a public plea:

Please, don't vote for bush in november.

It's not that I'm anti-republican or even especially anti-bush. I just don't want to die in a war I don't get to vote on. And Bush could immediately start a draft, wheras kerry'd have to wait four years if he wanted a chance at reelction.

And don't tell me there won't be a draft. Cuz that's bullshit. There's no way we can sustain combat operations in increasingly hostile... bah. I'm not gonna get into it.

Just know -- a vote for Bush is a vote against my life.

*Sigh.*

On the pointlessness of high school english:

2004-09-27T01:30:00.000-05:00

Do we misinterpret authors?

Question #1040 from Beatle4: After reading Beloved, I started to read the Cliff Notes about it. In there they said that a lot of the book had an underlying sexual meaning. For example the canoe resembled female anatomy, etc. Is this what you wanted it to mean?

Toni_Morrison says, "I think all of the sexual or sensual implications of the book are overt.There was no covert or hidden sexual metaphorical language. I certainly did not mean to suggest that the canoe itself was anything more than a canoe which was the means by which she could cross the river and at the same time provide a place where the baby could be born like a cradle."

2004-09-26T04:23:00.000-05:00

Who needs sleep, anyway?

Memory.

2004-09-25T22:28:00.000-05:00

My purchases today: 2 12-packs of Dr. Pepper, a can of alfredo sauce, a bag of chocolate chips, a gamer magazine, and three small memo pads.

My, the clerk must have thought strange thoughts of me.

Ah well. Now, on the bright side, I won't forget the important ideas that I have all day, like I usually do. Yay. =)

Fill 'er up, son.

2004-09-25T19:20:00.000-05:00

I smell of apples and dried grass. My mind feels as though it is moving through air that has the consistency of... a blend of swamp muk, pudding, and jello. I am alive as though in some other world or dimension or plane. I am tired. Chronically so.

Scored 96th percentile on science, 97th on reading, and 99th on both language and math on the star test. Bleh.

I'm sick of being me. I mean, i'm not really, but i am.

2004-09-25T03:56:00.000-05:00

I went outside to think on things.

Instead, I only thought of you.

Last night:

2004-09-25T01:05:00.000-05:00

Time to bed: 11 pm.
Projected hours of sleep: 7 hours.

---

Time to sleep: 5:15 am.
Actual hours of sleep: 1 hour 20 minutes.

---

There is something wrong here. I am... apart. My body rebels. I don't seem to have control.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Oh, and then for good measure? I returned to active duty in cross country today. And I also had to turn in papers at work. So my physical activity today went like this:

12:00-12:30 : rollerblade home from school (2 miles)
1:10-1:23 : bike from home to the train station (almost one mile)
1:45-2:50 : bike from Kiki's to home, then from home to school (over six miles)
3:00-3:30 : run 30 min. easy (wasn't really paying attention to distance)
3:50-4:10 : bike home from school (2 miles)

This after barely having done any physical activity over the past week, and on that sleep and an almost-empty-stomach (i ate, but my stomach ate faster.)

Life is just weird.

I have this urge to go sit in a park, and just stare up into space. And maybe if I did that, my mind could be quiet. Maybe if I did that, I'd enjoy myself for a bit.

Hmm.

I'm off to sit in a park.

We Don't Need No Education - We Don't Need No Thought Control.

2004-09-23T23:15:00.000-05:00

Thursday. September 23rd.

Today was uneventful. Three hours at school -- three perfectly good hours, wasted.

Dammit, Jefferson. Why didn't you make sure this shit worked before you made us all go through it?

A whole lot of stuff has happened in the world in the last few days. It all makes me sad, to put it simply. I wonder why people who could commit atrocious crimes against other humans are the way they are. And I wonder that it seems to be a self-propogating cycle. In other words, sure; it hasn't Always been this way. But might it not always be this way, from now on?

I wonder.

Life's not ALL bleak and dreary. I just can't think of anything good to say about it right now.

Log out.

Interesting and Random News of the Day:

2004-09-22T20:49:00.000-05:00

Human cells produce morphine
Results of biosynthesis studies may improve understanding of pain, immunity, and behavior |

By Charles Q Choi

Researchers in Germany have found solid evidence that human cells can generate morphine. Their findings, reported this week in PNAS, may help resolve years of debate.

"If this morphine [that] humans produce interacts with opiate receptors in the body, this could open up a whole new era for understanding the pharmacological modulation of pain, of immune response, and of behavior," author Meinhart Zenk of Martin Luther University in Halle, Germany, told The Scientist.

George Stefano, director of the Old Westbury Neuroscience Institute in New York and a leading proponent of endogenous morphine's debated existence, said the study, which he did not participate in, confirms nearly 30 years of theories. In 2003, his group cloned an opiate receptor from human tissues, mu3, that only reacts with morphine and is found in immune, vascular, and neural tissues.

"This could demonstrate how endogenous morphine may work," Stefano told The Scientist. "This could represent a brand new signaling pathway."

Morphine has been discovered for decades in trace amounts in animal organs and fluids such as toad skin, cow brain, and human heart and urine, as well as in invertebrates such as mussels. The most widely accepted explanation was such morphine was of environmental origin, since it also occurs in hay, lettuce, and milk.

To resolve the issue in animals, Zenk and colleagues used isotope-labeled precursors to demonstrate the biosynthesis de novo of morphine and its intermediates in human neuroblastoma and pancreas carcinoma cells.

In the plant kingdom, a pair of oxygen atoms is incorporated into each morphine molecule during the transformation of two molecules of L-tyrosine into a pair of dopamine molecules. In the latest study, Zenk and colleagues found that neuroblastoma cells raised in an oxygen-18–enriched atmosphere generated morphine with a molecular weight 4 mass units higher than morphine produced in cells grown in a regular oxygen-16 atmosphere, which indicated the presence of two atoms of oxygen-18 per morphine molecule. Pancreas cells grown in an oxygen-18 atmosphere also yielded isotope-labeled reticuline and norlaudanosoline, which are morphine precursors.

The researchers also supplied carbon-13–labeled morphine precursor L- tyramine to neuroblastoma cells. The resulting morphine was 6 mass units heavier than normal, corresponding to the incorporation of one molecule of carbon-13–labeled tyramine. Ion chromatograms showed the tyramine exclusively labeled the cyclohexane ring of morphine, a pattern that exactly follows that of the poppy plant, the researchers explained.

"Although much time and effort has been spent in the past to avoid contamination," said Thomas Bilfinger of the State University of New York at Stony Brook, who did not participate in this study, "a low-level exogenous source such as food could not be completely excluded, and so it is nice to see that unequivocally morphine is present in human cells at a nanomolar range."

In the poppy, S-reticuline is converted to R-reticuline, which in turn is transformed into morphine with R configuration at carbon atom C-9. The reticuline discovered in the human cell lines was S-reticuline, and when neuroblastoma cells were supplied with carbon-13–labeled S-reticuline, the resultant morphine was also R configured. This suggests human cells carry out the same stereochemistry conversion as in plants, Zenk said. His group plans to identify the genes and enzymes behind the human morphine biosynthesis pathway.

"The chance—through convergent evolution—of making the same intermediates and using enzymes that must be similar because they're catalyzing stereospecific reactions—that's pretty remote. This biosynthetic pathway probably existed before animals and plants diverged," Stefano said.

Gregory Fricchione, associate chief of psychiatry of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston who was not involved in this study, noted morphine is a product of the dopamine pathway, which in turn is central to the brain's reward and motivation circuitry. Addictive behavior, social attachment behavior, and pain mechanisms are examples of reward and motivation functions that endogenous morphine may impact.

"If endogenous morphine proves to be physiologically active, then we can suspect it of playing a role in the functions dopamine is playing a role in, a very exciting prospect for neuropsychiatry and its disorders," Fricchione told The Scientist.

----

Article originally posted at: http://www.biomedcentral.com/news/20040921/02

2004-09-22T19:22:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I taught myself basic integration, knowing nothing but the fact that it was the opposite of derivation and that it allows you to find the area underneath a curve.

I taught myself integration. My phys AP teacher failed to teach an entire class integration.

I fear for my AP test score. Ah well, not much I can do.

Oh, and while I'm here: Happy Autumnal Equinox! =P

I know nothing.

2004-09-22T01:19:00.000-05:00

What am I waiting for?

I am waiting for something. That's what it feels like. I am on edge, I am nervous, I am tense, strung-out, and easily exhausted. All of this reinforces what I feel, that I am waiting for something.

But I'm not waiting for anything. Not consciously. So what the hell am I waiting for?

Not that anyone else knows either. Hmph.

Whatever you are, hurry up and happen already.

Not Pandora, or Pangea, but:

2004-09-21T18:32:00.000-05:00

A Panacea.

That is to say, I love pumpkin pie. I may feel like utter crap; like it's not worth the pain it inflicts to move across the house; but despite all that, my world is bright when I eat my pie.

Now my pie is gone, and I must return to homework. Oh drudgery... please leave me be...

*sigh*.

Not gonna happen.

And it's whispered that soon...

2004-09-20T01:46:00.000-05:00

I fought the field, and I can't say who won. I left some of me on it, and I took some of it home with me.

That is to say, I had a soccer game today. I played goal the whole game. Missed two shots, but blocked 27, so I don't feel that bad. Fucking defense... learn how to run...

*grumbles*.

We lost 2 to 1. Overall it was a pretty good game... but there's no way we should have lost. My team was just lazy. People don't care. NOBODY CARES!!! gah.

Oh well. =/

In other news... I baked the first pumpkin pie of the season tonight, and damn, was it good =). Nothing quite like an incoming autumn to lift end-of-summer blues. Temporarily at least... but it's better than nothing.

Anyway, I've got a train-of-thought assignment that's really weird to still do, and I'd like to get sleep tonight, so I'd better get to it. Goodnight.

2004-09-19T03:59:00.000-05:00

This is my darkest night. I have crossed Styx and am in Hades, and now must find a way home.

I'll be a hero yet. But now, I'm just a poor, condemned soul.

Meet Andrew Coe.

2004-09-18T19:14:00.000-05:00

http://www.jonessoda.com/gallery/view.php?ID=0000279635

Go there. Look to the right of the page. Find the score-selector area. Give Andrew a 10, click vote, and be happy.

(Andrew loves jones soda, and who wouldn't want to be on a soda label?)

2004-09-18T18:32:00.000-05:00

Looks like autumn...

Smells like autumn...

Yup, must be getting pretty close to autumn.

2004-09-18T03:10:00.000-05:00

This is for anyone who has to pay for gas, or just anyone who's ever talked to a californian who has had to pay for gas:

http://applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=103

In other news, Chelsea; I got your letter today. You're awesome =). It made me happy and sad at the same time, but hey, most things do. Anyway, thank you for it.

I'll go sleep till noon now. Yay sickness...

Friday night...

2004-09-18T00:42:00.000-05:00

Back from work, and now nothing to do. Unless I wanted to go get drunk and stoned and lord knows what else with my coworkers. Which I didn't, really. So instead, I hit 25 mph on my rollerblades and now I'm sitting on my ass at home on a friday night.

I'm a loser. *sigh*.

Disclaimer

2004-09-17T00:50:00.000-05:00

Just to clarify on the questions I know I'm going to get for that, it's not necessarily reflective of how I feel or how I think I should act, or how fucking nuts I am, or anything else like that. Assume nothing -- just enjoy the piece =)

If only I got paid by the dream.

2004-09-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

So here's something cool -- this song is entirely my creation, but I think I came up with the first two lines in a dream I had this morning. Anyway, I finished it tonight. Er, yeah, no criticisms allowed, just because it's a personal thing, and well, it's not really meant to be good, it's just... I donno. You'll see.

Sadly, there's no way to write the music up here. You really have to get the rhythm to get a feel for the piece. Ah well.

------------

I couldn't think of words to give you, so
I sat and wrote a song here for you:

Every song I hear reminds me of you,
And every moment I am thinking of you;
I wish I knew what was going on
Cuz I know, something just feels wrong…

I walk down the street and you should be with me:
My heart still beats, but I’m feelin’ empty --
Please.. Why can’t I
know
That song I had inside before?
I only
cry
Down on my knees
I’m underground till I hear your voice again…

--

And maybe nothing’s meant to be:
Maybe there is no you and me,
But I can’t feel the way I do and not speak out.

And maybe someday you will see
The feeling that was burning deep in me;
And when you do, you’ll know without a doubt…

--

That which I know now;
I cannot speak it out aloud,
Cuz if I did I know no
One’d believe me anyhow…

But I feel this in my soul;
It grabs my brain and takes control, and it’s
Screamin’ out that you’re the one
And I’m not to question that

And if I listen closely, maybe.
It just might be a true thing, baby -
I could throw my life away for you -
Only please, just let me wait for you!

After sayin’ so much that’s on my mind,
I still haven’t found the words I’ve been trying to find;
And maybe it can’t be done,
But I’ll keep trying till I or it has won,
Cuz you’re a life I’d love to live.
And as for mine, I give it to you gladly
So please let me say!

I just don’t know what to say, today.

----------------------------

Assault Weapon Ban (dearly departed...)

2004-09-15T19:33:00.000-05:00

CONGRESSIONAL FINDINGS AND DECLARATION

Section 1(b) of Pub. L. 99-308 provided that: ''The Congress

finds that -

''(1) the rights of citizens -

''(A) to keep and bear arms under the second amendment to the

United States Constitution;

''(B) to security against illegal and unreasonable searches

and seizures under the fourth amendment;

''(C) against uncompensated taking of property, double

jeopardy, and assurance of due process of law under the fifth

amendment; and

''(D) against unconstitutional exercise of authority under

the ninth and tenth amendments;

require additional legislation to correct existing firearms

statutes and enforcement policies; and

''(2) additional legislation is required to reaffirm the intent

of the Congress, as expressed in section 101 of the Gun Control

Act of 1968 (section 101 of Pub. L. 90-618, set out below), that

'it is not the purpose of this title to place any undue or

unnecessary Federal restrictions or burdens on law-abiding

citizens with respect to the acquisition, possession, or use of

firearms appropriate to the purpose of hunting, trapshooting,

target shooting, personal protection, or any other lawful

activity, and that this title is not intended to discourage or

eliminate the private ownership or use of firearms by law-abiding

citizens for lawful purposes.'.''

Section 101 of title I of Pub. L. 90-618 provided that: ''The

Congress hereby declares that the purposes of this title (amending

this chapter) is to provide support to Federal, State, and local

law enforcement officials in their fight against crime and

violence, and it is not the purpose of this title to place any

undue or unnecessary Federal restrictions or burdens on law-abiding

citizens with respect to the acquisition, possession, or use of

firearms appropriate to the purpose of hunting, trapshooting,

target shooting, personal protection, or any other lawful activity,

and that this title is not intended to discourage or eliminate the

private ownership or use of firearms by law-abiding citizens for

lawful purposes, or provide for the imposition by Federal

regulations of any procedures or requirements other than those

reasonably necessary to implement and effectuate the provisions of

this title.''

Section 901 of title IV of Pub. L. 90-351 provided that:

''(a) The Congress hereby finds and declares -

''(1) that there is a widespread traffic in firearms moving in

or otherwise affecting interstate or foreign commerce, and that

the existing Federal controls over such traffic do not adequately

enable the States to control this traffic within their own

borders through the exercise of their police power;

''(2) that the ease with which any person can acquire firearms

other than a rifle or shotgun (including criminals, juveniles

without the knowledge or consent of their parents or guardians,

narcotics addicts, mental defectives, armed groups who would

supplant the functions of duly constituted public authorities,

and others whose possession of such weapon is similarly contrary

to the public interest) is a significant factor in the prevalence

of lawlessness and violent crime in the United States;

''(3) that only through adequate Federal control over

interstate and foreign commerce in these weapons, and over all

persons engaging in the businesses of importing, manufacturing,

or dealing in them, can this grave problem be properly dealt

with, and effective State and local regulation of this traffic be

made possible;

''(4) that the acquisition on a mail-order basis of firearms

other than a rifle or shotgun by nonlicensed individuals, from a

place other than their State of residence, has materially tended

to thwart the effectiveness of State laws and regulations, and

local ordinances;

''(5) that the sale or other disposition of concealable weapons

by importers, manufacturers, and dealers holding Federal

licenses, to nonresidents of the State in which the licensees'

places of business are located, has tended to make ineffective

the laws, regulations, and ordinances in the several States and

local jurisdictions regarding such firearms;

''(6) that there is a casual relationship between the easy

availability of firearms other than a rifle or shotgun and

juvenile and youthful criminal behavior, and that such firearms

have been widely sold by federally licensed importers and dealers

to emotionally immature, or thrill-bent juveniles and minors

prone to criminal behavior;

''(7) that the United States has become the dumping ground of

the castoff surplus military weapons of other nations, and that

such weapons, and the large volume of relatively inexpensive

pistols and revolvers (largely worthless for sporting purposes),

imported into the United States in recent years, has contributed

greatly to lawlessness and to the Nation's law enforcement

problems;

''(8) that the lack of adequate Federal control over interstate

and foreign commerce in highly destructive weapons (such as

bazookas, mortars, antitank guns, and so forth, and destructive

devices such as explosive or incendiary grenades, bombs,

missiles, and so forth) has allowed such weapons and devices to

fall into the hands of lawless persons, including armed groups

who would supplant lawful authority, thus creating a problem of

national concern;

''(9) that the existing licensing system under the Federal

Firearms Act (former sections 901 to 910 of Title 15, Commerce

and Trade) does not provide adequate license fees or proper

standards for the granting or denial of licenses, and that this

has led to licenses being issued to persons not reasonably

entitled thereto, thus distorting the purposes of the licensing

system.

''(b) The Congress further hereby declares that the purpose of

this title (enacting this chapter and repealing sections 901 to 910

of Title 15, Commerce and Trade) is to cope with the conditions

referred to in the foregoing subsection, and that it is not the

purpose of this title (enacting this chapter and repealing sections

901 to 910 of Title 15) to place any undue or unnecessary Federal

restrictions or burdens on lawabiding citizens with respect to the

acquisition, possession, or use of firearms appropriate to the

purpose of hunting, trap shooting, target shooting, personal

protection, or any other lawful activity, and that this title

(enacting this chapter and repealing sections 901 to 910 of Title

15) is not intended to discourage or eliminate the private

ownership or use of firearms by law-abiding citizens for lawful

purposes, or provide for the imposition by Federal regulations of

any procedures or requirements other than those reasonably

necessary to implement and effectuate the provisions of this title

(enacting this chapter and repealing sections 901 to 910 of Title

15).''

ADMINISTRATION AND ENFORCEMENT

Section 103 of title I of Pub. L. 90-618, as amended by Pub. L.

107-296, title XI, Sec. 1112(s), Nov. 25, 2002, 116 Stat. 2279,

provided that: ''The administration and enforcement of the

amendment made by this title (amending this chapter) shall be

vested in the Attorney General.''

Section 903 of title IV of Pub. L. 90-351 provided that: ''The

administration and enforcement of the amendment made by this title

(enacting this chapter and provisions set out as notes under this

section) shall be vested in the Secretary of the Treasury (now

Attorney General).''

MODIFICATION OF OTHER LAWS

Section 104 of title I of Pub. L. 90-618, as amended by Pub. L.

99-514, Sec. 2, Oct. 22, 1986, 100 Stat. 2095, provided that:

''Nothing in this title or the amendment made thereby (amending

this chapter) shall be construed as modifying or affecting any

provision of -

''(a) the National Firearms Act (chapter 53 of the Internal

Revenue Code of 1986) (section 5801 et seq. of Title 26, Internal

Revenue Code);

''(b) section 414 of the Mutual Security Act of 1954 (22 U.S.C.

1934), as amended, relating to munitions control; or

''(c) section 1715 of title 18, United States Code, relating to

nonmailable firearms.''

Section 904 of title IV of Pub. L. 90-351, as amended by Pub. L.

99-514, Sec. 2, Oct. 22, 1986, 100 Stat. 2095, provided that:

''Nothing in this title or amendment made thereby (enacting this

chapter and provisions set out as notes under this section) shall

be construed as modifying or affecting any provision of -

''(a) the National Firearms Act (chapter 53 of the Internal

Revenue Code of 1986) (section 5801 et seq. of Title 26, Internal

Revenue Code); or

''(b) section 414 of the Mutual Security Act of 1954 (22 U.S.C.

1934), as amended, relating to munitions control; or

''(c) section 1715 of title 18, United States Code, relating to

nonmailable firearms.''

2004-09-15T00:20:00.000-05:00

Right now, I am very sore.

In two months, I will probably be in the best shape I will ever be in, in my entire life.

Is it worth it?

In the absence of knowledge of that answer, I'm just going to ignore the question and keep doing what I'm doing. Ah, yes, I'm a being of reason...

Heh. Running JV at Golden Gate Park. So I just have to place in the top nine, and I get a medal. This is probably my only chance. Wish me luck =P.

fuck.

2004-09-13T01:54:00.000-05:00

Knew I shouldn't have tried at the last meet...

Back to varsity for me =(. No more easy racing, no more medal chances. *Sigh*

I guess I have till thursday to get really obscenely in shape and fast. My goal is to beat my time from last year that's on our school's top ten list for this race. So, basically, to run 2.05 miles in under 11:53.

I'd sigh here, but I already used that one up. Anyway, wish me luck...

And out of curiosity --

2004-09-13T00:15:00.000-05:00

Who reads this blog? If you do, just post a comment and leave either your name or your blog name, or whatever you want. I just want to get an idea of who's out there.